Sewer Workers Union Protests David Boyer, the Vincennes, Indiana Plagiarist

The smell was unbelievable.

424 members of Local 185 United Gutter Cleaners of America gathered in the main hotel in Vincennes, Indiana to protest David Boyer, the Vincennes, Indiana plagiarist.

"Get Boyer out of our gutters," shouted a sallow faced man whose long nose and coal black eyes reminded me of a nasty smelling scarecrow.

There were signs everywere.

"Boyer Should Flush After Using His Brain," said one.  "Boyer Backs Up Sewers," said another.

There were no television cameras present.  Even the cable channels are ashamed of Boyer.

"Excuse me," I said to a skinny woman with thinning hair with an authoritative look.  "I'm a reporter trying to get the scoop on David Boyer the plagiarist.  Can you tell me what's going on here."

She gave me a suspicious look, then poked a finger against my chest as though trying to see if I was well done yet.

"You don't know?"

"No ma'am.  I was hoping you would tell me."

"You going to sign our petition?"

Her voice reminded of gears grinding.

"Ma'am, I'm a reporter, I can't sign anything.  My boss would take away my reporter badge."

"Management bullshit," she said.  "Well, here's the scoop Jimmy Olsen.  That no-talent plagiarist is clogging the sewers of Vincennes so there's nowhere for the doo-doo to go."

"Doo-doo?"

"That's French for shit."

"Of course.  I'm writing that down."

"Well, write this down while you're at it.  Every damn time someone buys a book from that human parasite, then finds out its plagiarized they get so mad they flush the whole damned book down the toilet.  And he's published so much plagiarized stuff that it's out of control.  Sewer system in this town is like an underground library of wet, soppy, bad smelling books.  Let your imagination run wild, slick.  You want to go down and see for yourself?"

I began backing away.

"No, no thank you.  I have an appointment for a root canal I don't want to miss."

"Uh-huh.  Well, you might think this isn't a big news story now, but it's going on all of the country.  More people every day are finding out his stuff is stuffed with plagiarisms and they end up flushing them down the commode.  Getting dangerous underground  I heard reports sewers backing up all over the country.  That's the real reason we got a recession.  That's why they say the economy's going down the sewer.  Think about it."

But I didn't have time to think.

I had to find a town where the toilets still worked or I was in trouble.

Oh No, There Goes Tokyo!

Japanese Writer Terrified of Boyerzilla

According to early reports, Japanese fiction writers were so terrified of Boyerzilla that they were forced to conceal Mothra, Rhodan and even the mighty Godzilla in undisclosed theme parks and Putt-Putt golf courses scattered throughout the Land of the Rising Sun.  The initial effort did turn out well due to size restrictions (it's hard to hide a giant moth under a windmill).  It was not until Minister of Literacy Ichiro  Murakami conceived of hiding these three greatest of all Japanese superheroes in an exhibit called "Land of the Giants" that the general reading public was able to breathe a sigh of relief.

Hoping for another Boyergate scoop, I Skyped Minister Murakami.

"Hello," I said.  "Can you both see and hear me?"

"What are you selling?" replied the Minister.  "I already have insurance."

 I sensed a certain level of frustration in his voice. 

"I'm a reporter," I said, "hot on the trail of breaking news stories that concern David Boyer, the serial plagiarist from Vincennes, Indiana."

"I have no time for reporters.  Writers are rioting in the streets.  There is looting here.  When rumors started that the cow-tongued plagiarist David Boyer had grown to such monstrous proportions he was looking overseas for things to steal, the whole Japanese population went mad!"

"Calm down," I told him.  "I don't even think David Boyer knows where Japan is."

"How can I be calm?  Mothra is not safe.  Rhodan is not safe.  Godzilla is not safe.  I heard Boyer is writing film scripts so bad his cats use them for litter.  Soon he'll start stealing our film scripts and putting his name on them.  If he claims he wrote the script for the movie "Godzilla," our whole nation will jump into the sea.  Godzilla is Japanese.  Mothra and Rhodan are Japanese.  We live through a tidal wave and a nuclear meltdown only to have to worry about Boyerzilla stealing our stuff?!"

"Minister," I cautioned, "Boyer can't read Japanese so he's not likely to plagiarize Japanese Godzilla movies."

His image waivered as he shouted and banged his fist on the table.

"He can't write in American, but he plagiarizes Americans. What do you say to that?"

Sure, bring that up.

"He lives in Vincennes, Indiana and he plagiarizes Vincennes writers!"

"I have to admit that sounds bad," I said.

"He claims to be Christian, but he plagiarizes Christian writers!"

I had to turn down the volume on my computer speakers- they were starting to vibrate.

"But Minister Murakami- " I said, but he cut me off before I could complete my sentence.

"No buts!!!  He likes monster movies.  Our monsters are the best.   He plagiarized Dean Koontz, why wouldn't he plagiarize Godzilla?"

"Godzilla didn't write the movie scripts, Minister, He's just a monster-actor.  So Boyer wouldn't technically be plagiarizing Godzilla himself."

The icy stare he gave me was so cold I shivered.

"You mean Godzilla is a film writer?"

He nodded.

"Wow," I said.  "There's a movie script in this."

I know I shouldn't have said that because it made him so mad he spit on his webcam.  It looked like a giant mucous meteorite hurtling at me.  Then he clicked off without a word.

Hmmm.... Boyerzilla versus the Giant Mucous Meteorite.

There's a movie script in that.

The Street Psychology of a Plagiarist, Part Two of Four- His Female Self?

Are David Boyer's New Online Identities Female?

It might be true.  Most plagiarists lie constantly.  They can't seem to help themselves.  For example, I was told by one writer that Boyer once claimed to be a gay man living at home taking care of his parents (I have this in black and white), and yet on other sites he loudly proclaims himself to be heterosexual. None of those he's plagiarized really care about his sexual preferences, of course.  It's none of our business.  We'd just like him to go away.  So he seems to- but does he really?

Cons like Boyer are addicted to hiding behind new identities.  Why not pose as someone of the opposite sex?  To a plagiarist, one identity is as good as the next.  Why not pretend to be a woman.  Who would ever guess it was them?  Or as a police friend told me, "Oh yeah, pretend to be a woman.  That's original."

You see, the street psychology of con men including editors and publishers like Boyer who don't pay promised royalties, print things without the permission of the authors and blatantly plagiarize other writer's work is that they think they're above the law.  They think they're above the law because they're smarter than we are.  As an example, cons often think that by a simple change of identities that no one can find them.  Like kids who hide under a blanket and don't think they can be found.

The world of the internet bolsters their psychological addiction to taking what isn't theirs because they think it is an unaccountable wasteland across which no one's identity can be tracked.  They think if they create a new email they're home free.  A new freeweb site and who could guess it's them?  Then a new name for a new magazine or publishing house and bingo- they're in business again.  Right?  No one can figure out it's them.

Why, maybe they can even post the new magazine at Duotrope under the new name and they're in business again.  Like David Boyer did with his Leo Wolf identity.

Like most patients, plagiarists like Boyer aren't aware that they have a problem.  They're perfectly normal.  How dare we question them.  We're the ones who are out of control.  If you've read any of Boyer's postings around the web, you'll know what I mean.

He thinks it's perfectly normal to make up new identities and hide behind them.  He's being persecuted, you see.  He's not trying to avoid accountability.  Why no- he's a rebel publisher and we're all demanding he quit plagiarizing us because we're jealous of his talent.

Boyer and his ilk can't stop themselves.  They are a victim of their own psychology. 

Hide, deny.  Make a new email.  Another freeweb.  A new magazine.  Try to suck in new authors. Another email address.  Sound angry if people question you. Hide, deny. Repeat as long as necessary.

With that kind of psychological imperative, could David Boyer have created a female identity to hide behind at his latest magazine?

You tell me- but let's all investigate thoroughly before we decide.  I'll give you the name of the magazine(s) in question next week.